Hi! Thank you for coming back!
First allow me to say thank for people's kind words regarding the last post. That was one of the hardest things I've written in a long time and the fears of revealing such a post have been outweighed and put to rest with the comments and messages I've recieved through Facebook.
I'm always strive to be honest and reasonable and as much as I would like to think I speak my mind, actually nothing could be furthest from the truth. I've certainly become more reserved and quiet as time gone by and I've learnt to fake confidence and a smile can hide many things!
The week gone by has been...interesting to say the least...
Another round of trips to the doctors, specialists and assessments. Another person admiting an mistake has been made in my line of care. And now things are looking more serious than even I had thought. I admittedly had thought a round of counselling or whatever they decide to throw at me will help but it turns out I'm beyond that and will need more than the standard short term care they offer to many people.
Where this will take me, I'm not sure but all I can do I guess is ride this part of the journey out and see and deal with what life decides to throw my way.
But I will say this, something in me had decided to snap. Just one thing after another one day this week just drove me to that point where I've had enough. I believe respect is a two way thing and of late it has been non-existant for me and I felt I given alot more than I received back. The effort, rejection, pain, fustration etc etc and so on is not acceptable any more. It really did wake a fire in me, not one that is fuelled by anger or the likes but a proper fire, one where its fuelled by me. A "wake-up call" as my muma said.
Already its like I've woken from a deep sleep. Already things are slowly changing fuelled by this strange firey energy in me. I waited around for too long and for what?....nothing!
There are a few things in life I still have faith in. I'm not a religious person at all. Religion as a whole is flawed in my eyes though I respect it and other people's beliefs. Just only one thing, don't try to push your beliefs onto me and respect mine. I've still got all my life to find a belief if I do, I'm in no rush.
One thing that is apart of my faith, my self belief as it were is A.R.K.
Acts of Random Kindness. It doesnt take much to be kind to someone without being asked.
And it's something I always aim to do, I never ask or expect something back as a whole really. My act of random kindness this week?
I spontaneously baked my dear pops a cake!
A devonshire honey cake, something I've seen a parisian baker do once and one I've always wanted to try!
It first starts with melting down the butter (so much butter!), dark sugar and honey (beautiful, almost crystalized honey from a friend who owned several bee hives out in the deepest country nearby.) It then had to cool down and the eggs mixed in, otherwise if you did it hot...scrambled eggs anyone?!
I tell you now, the pan of melted goodness smelt divine! The honey has taken on a caramel texture and taste as you can see from the spoon...(I did lick it, I must confess...!) then the flour is added and the batter is put into the oven for a looooong time, all that liquid in that batter needs to evapourate and leave behind a nice, moist sponge.
Ymmy, especially with the added warm honey melted seperately and poured on top to glaze it and seep into the cake itself. Its a really nice cake and the taste of the honey comes through in a thick syrupy wave to leave a caramel-like stickyness in your mouth...what more, my pops was pleased to recieve a cake when he came home!
I'm pleased this turned out well, I dont have much luck with cakes as a whole and so I tend to stay away from them. As I gotten older, I appreciate savoury food and especially since the accident I find the texture of cake in my mouth...weird. But I do have space in my heart and on the table for a nice cake!
I've been lucky to get some smale scale sewing in this week. I'm apart of a local craft guild, that night it was the turn of the quilt group to gather and really, it isn't all to do with quilting at all and more about drooling over beautiful fabrics!
That night we started working on a small project, one I'm hoping to finish this coming week and post the results here!
Playing with lovely printed fabrics for free was a bonus!
Don't worry! I do, do more exciting things in life than bake cakes and sew! Lordy, I'm not that fuddy-duddy!
I hope you all are enjoying the long weekend thanks to the queen! Take care of yourself now!