musings : end of the year

I love christmas, its the one time of the year that allows my family to come together and enjoy each others company, over carefully chosen gifts, food and seasonal joy. We have tried to celebrate it in a variety of ways but keep coming back to the same old format of christmas at home with thr loved ones.

But what i hate is the period after christmas and before new years...and it had hit hard this year.
Theres always a degree of nostalgia as we review the year that has gone by and pressure to plan for the year to come.
This transitional period is always a weird one and as I grown up, it has gotten harder and harder for me to ignore it.

I really didn't expect to even be here to even think these thoughts or to experience this time of year at all.
2013 wasn't even on the cards to me. I was hoping to be long buried by then and the fact I'm here still means I now have to have a rethink on exactly what do I do with my one wild and prescious life? How do I develope into the person I wish and truely am, using the experiences of 2012 to side me?

I know that for 2013, I want to be foward-going in my actions and thoughts and taking a more proactive and central role to the things I do. I feel I'm strong enough to do that and have the degree of mentality within me to now step forward and do things without  fear or intimidation.

The experiences of 2012 have taught me so much. That I can tell you.
My values, thoughts and judgements amongst many things are now different and I now have a side to me I'm constantly exploring and encouraging, the side of me that takes no crap, is patient but knows how to get whats she would like (not want - we want so much without thought and negotiations so hence why we fail) in a more considerate yet stronger way. Knows her limits but knows when to push them as well, and knows when to walk away or stay and fight.

If 2012 was the year I was on the sidelines, where I was recuperating, watching and learning, gathering experiences, wisdom and inspirations whilst all being quiet.
2013 will be the year I put it all into practice and come off the shelf and back into the wild ride of life.

I hope 2013 will be a great year for you all!

Birdie Love
xxx