Things I'm afraid to tell you...

This is a post share of a circulating theme going around blogs at the moment where I've taken inspiration from AdaLou's Blog (thank you!) and actually typing this is a little bit of self therapy in a way. So go ahead and enjoy...

1. I always want to help other people even if it ends up destroying me in the process.
2. I will always believe I will never be good enough
3. I am scared of the idea and notions of commitment and commiting to things, I hate being trapped.
4. I don't really care about money much when really i should.
5. I made my peace with being a girly-girl, i genuinely believe if other women say it in a negative or pointless way they are jealous or uncomfortable with my confidence to wear a skirt/dress!
6. I am motivated by the wrong things in life in the vain hope it will work out ok...it never does!
7. Relationships mean more to me than I understand them to do and wish them too.
8. I miss my brother everyday but admire him for standing alone.
9. I have an irrational phobia of crabs which is funny as, as a child i spent ages rock-pooling for them and now...i run the other way...they actually take my breath away with their yucky-ness!
10. I actually hate telling people i'm deaf.
11. A lot of people know me for having great speech but it isn't my real voice, I actually have a "Deaf voice" which i rarely use and am greatly embarassed by it. If you want to upset me right there and then, analysing my speech and voice is the way to do it!
12. I don't think there ever has been or ever will be a nice photo of me, I don't think i photograph well.
13. I'm impatient but am more patient than i give myself credit for.
14. I lack great confidence in myself when it comes to things that mean something to me
15. I hate compliments and i'm uneasy to accept them. I don't like drawing attention to myself and getting praise or the likes. I like to put myself "out there" for me and nothing else.
16. I like to deliberately give the impression i'm a hard-nosed bitch and the whole "don't mess with me aura" when actually you're likely to find me shaking and crying just before I tell someone to go fuck themselves. I guess I mastered the fine art of faking confidence - i had to as had no choice.
17. I will never again love in that way no more.
18. When I go out, I rather not drink. I'm not fussed about drinking alcohol. I hold booze too well that by the time I get drunk I'm sober or I'm broke!
19.  I'm very open-minded. It takes a lot to shake me.
20. I would love to have singing lessons
21. As much as I don't mind playing games online and on consoles, I will admit I do not understand how people waste so much time of their lives playing it day in and day out...it's not real and there's a life outside your front door, you need to live it dammit even if it is sucky!
22. I'm a closet nerd...and i seriously doubt i be coming out!
23. I'm very self consious about the things I make, sew or create.
24. I find it really hard to let go of the hurtful things, no matter what i do
25. I know I can achieve great things for me if I got on and did it, I'm just very, very scared too and I don't know why
26. I desire a vespa ever since I was 13...a mint green one!
27. I love christmas at my parents house, my family really does make it into a big thing and we take the time to really enjoy it!
28. It absolutely kills me when someone i care about deeply is dissapointed in me.
29. I cannot stand bullying, I walk away even when others think I shouldn't. I think a bully is a shallow person and deeply unhappy and insecure in themselves and its easier to divert it and blame it on someone else than actually be an adult and deal with it.
30. I miss having a dog, Floss was one of a kind and I miss her badly.

It's been great to see many bloggers opening up and showing we are all not perfect, we are all beautifully flawed! If you decide to do a list like this one (please do!) please feel free to leave in your comment below, your blog address so I can have a read too!

Birdie Love
xxx